Thursday, October 1, 2009
Sorry to burst any bubbles but this isn't about Star Trek. Although being the geek that I am... it could be! I would totally sport a t-shirt saying, "Team Worf"!
But alas, we are writing about Klingon Guy because he seems like he could be a ...clingy guy!
I want attention and doting from a guy but don't be....clingy. *EW*
If you know me you know that I am very fond of my Blackberry, so much so that I have 2 of them! When I get an email alert from the dating site I am on, I will read it, and often, I will even click into their profile for a quick view.
A couple of nights ago I did just that. But remember I am looking at this webpage on a little two and a half inch square. It's kind of difficult to size someone up in two and a half inches! (let's ignore all the fun we could have with that comment.)
Many times I will just take a quick peek and then wait until I am on the computer to read more, look at their pictures and respond if it's warranted.
It was not even 24 hours later when I had another email from this guy. Really there is just no way to summarize and do it justice ... so here it is:
Hello, well I was hoping to hear back from you last night! I seen you check out my profile and must not have been impressed... I'm o.k. with that but you live so close maybe we could be friends if nothing else. I know this is a lot to ask, but if you don't want to chat as friends will you send a e-mail and tell me, so I don't have to bother you anymore!!! Have a great afternoon..
P.S. I really do hope you will see that I maybe a inch shorter that you, but I'm a really nice guy just to hang with..
I am flabbergasted.
I did have plans to look at his profile a little more. I hadn't even determined one way or the other if I was interested or not. But I can tell you that now I'm not!
Give me a little breathing room. I get notifications all the time of guys looking at my profile but I don't email them saying that I saw they viewed me and that I was wondering why they weren't interested.
Seriously... I honestly don't think it had even been 15 hours when I got this. I didn't know there were time limits on this stuff.
Apparently there is! Who knew? *shrug*
Ummm... does anyone know how to say NEXT in Klingon??
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."
Over the last week or so I have dipped my toe back into the pool of internet dating sites. I reactivated a couple of my accounts but this time I have a different philosophy. I realized that in the past my thought was something along the lines of "who is going to pick me?" This time I am the one that is being a little more picky, my attitude is you can email me and hope that you are worthy of MY attention.
As I have been scrutinizing these profiles I have been increasingly annoyed by a couple of things. We are all familiar the above line from Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. So what is in a name? Our names were given to us, and as it references, we are what we are. We are not defined by our name. But in the case of internet dating you pick your "profile name" and in many cases the rose isn't so sweet.
I find it especially interesting when their chosen profile name is a direct contradiction to what they say they are looking for. Often a profile talks about how they are wanting to find someone for a serious relationship yet their name has some reference to sex, body parts, or being a player. Why should I now believe anything they have written? Their name has told me what they are really there for.
One of my biggest pet peeves is the use of the number 69 in the profile name! UGHHH If that is tacked on to the end of a chosen profile name and you are NOT born in 1969 then you are not getting a nano second of my time.
I mean really... are we IN junior high?? Seriously?
The other tactic that will lose my interest real fast is the in-the-bathroom-with-only-a-towel-on mirror picture. Do these guys really want someone who is so shallow that their only interest comes from how they look in a towel? Or is it like the profile name and telling us what they are really looking for and who they are??
So to all the Nastyboy69's .... NEXT!!
Monday, September 21, 2009
One downside to this trip (ya know, cuz there haven't been any so far *eye roll*)... is eating alone. It's very hard for me to take myself out to a nice restaurant for dinner and ask for a table for one. I tend to get food to go and eat in my room, skip the meal altogether or eat someplace like the mall eatery with my head buried in a book or magazine.
Friday night I decided enough of that. I needed to go out for some fun, have some real food, and not feel embarrassed that I was eating alone. Earlier in the day I had spotted a Wings bar/grill. Perfect... I love wings! I figured the bar/grill atmosphere would be good so I could get a small table, mingle a little and no books or magazines allowed.
While I was eating I had to keep telling myself to sit up straight, look at people, smile, don't be a bump on a log and just have fun...even with just myself!
(Is it this hard for everyone to eat alone... or just me?)
The food was great, my waiter was nice and after awhile I noticed that even the hot manager was checking on me a lot! *Thinking to myself I kept saying... sit up straighter, smile more, make eye contact, dammit... say hi to this hottie - be brave*
After a while the hot manager stopped by to ask if it was just me dining there tonight. I explained my situation and he said he was glad I came in. In conversation I mentioned I was looking for a place to watch the UFC103 fights the next night and he told me they would be broadcasting it. He said I should definitely come back to watch, gave me the scoop on what time to be there to get in and all that.
I got all cuted up to go out the next night, went back for some more awesome wings and hopefully a glimpse or two of the hot manager! After I had been there a while the hot manager walked by my table. He smiled and said he didn't think I'd actually come back but was glad I did. Once the fights got started, he had the chance to take a break. He came and sat with me.
*Look at that... I was brave, confident, having fun being out alone, and it paid off! Yay Me*
We talked for about 45 minutes or so, I told him all about my criminal ways in the mile high city and we were having a really great conversation. But in the end it turns out he is married and has one of those "open marriages" where they can see other people.
What is up with that open stuff!?
He was really hot and it was verryyyy tempting to keep getting to know him, *sigh* but...that just isn't for me. I want someone who is MY own, someone who will adore only me and I can adore only him in return.
Is it too much to ask for to get hit on by a hot, single guy who is looking for the same things as I am???
So what have we learned in this adventure?
- It is totally okay to go out to dinner alone.
- I don't need to bury my head in a magazine when I do.
- Sit up, be confident, have fun and enjoy life - people will notice.
- Wait for the guy who wants you... and only you!
While I was in the Denver area the girls I was training asked what I had been to see. I told them I really hadn't ventured out... especially after my adventures in the Beast! They told me that I could take the light rail all the way from where we were at into downtown Denver to the 16th Street Mall. They said it was a good place to shop, eat and look around.
After training I went out to the station, looking around I didn't see a ticket office so I asked a couple of kids where to get tickets. They said I didn't need one.
I jumped on the E Line which took us past the Mile High Stadium, the Pepsi Center and ended up at the Union Station.
The 16th Street Mall was a fun street filled with shops, street vendors, outdoor cafés, and street entertainers.
I at lunch at the Denver Hard Rock Café
and particularly had a good time watching this self-made robot guy...
It was a good adventure but then I needed to get back. So I hop back on the light rail for a scenic ride back. At one stop a family with a couple of little girls got on. They were sitting next to me and the girls were telling me all about their fun day. The mom said something about she didn't know why they bought tickets for the ride, there wasn't anyone around to take them. I told them how I was told I didn't need them and she thought maybe it was just a way to take money from tourists!
Well as they got off at their stop, an officer of the light rail system got on. Guess what he was checking for... TICKETS! Guess who didn't have one... ME!
I explained to the nice officer my situation, how I was there from out of town, what the kids told me and he just laughed saying they were hoping to see me get a citation.
Well he needed to see my driver's license and while he called it in he lectured me on how I was stealing from the State of Colorado by not paying and that it's a criminal offense. Meanwhile, the whole train was watching. It was quite embarrassing!
Since I didn't have any *prior* warnings or tickets for this same crime, he wrote me a warning ticket and kindly asked me to step off at the next stop to purchase a ticket from a little vending machine. I was more than happy to do so since I had inquired about it at the beginning of my adventure.
So first the fender bender in the beast, now I am a public transportation thief.. what next?
I am beginning to think Denver hates me! *pout*
Friday, September 18, 2009
She wrecks the company rental, that's what!
Yes it's true. I had a fender bender! *Sad face here* Our rental was a HUGE Suburban so that we could haul inventory, pick up all the items we needed for the new kiosk and all that fun stuff. I spent 2 days joking about how huge that beast was and as soon as I am on my own... bam!
Backing out of a parking stall, I didn't see a Jeep turn behind me. When I started backing out I heard a beep, knowing that it beeped that I was almost out of gas just before parking there, I looked down to see if it was still telling me it needed gas. NO, apparently it beeps right before you HIT something!
*shrug* WHO KNEW???
Luckily, the damage wasn't too great. The picture below shows where I dinged her car. Of course the beast was pretty much sparkling still.
Well this whole thing made for a poopy day! Had to spend a few hours making a police report, calling my company to confess, calling insurance companies, making copies, etc.
I must say the highlight was when Miss Phyllis told me that, right before I backed into her, she screamed for me to "STOP". I laughed and was like, "Honey, I am driving a BEAST!"
I don't know why she expected me to hear her!
*Things to learn:
- Never drive a Suburban if it can be helped.
- Park BEASTS in outer darkness and walk 2 miles to destination.
- Take up as many parking spaces as possible.
- Never again curse at beastly sized cars that take up as many parking spaces possible.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Labor Day has come and gone. That's the signal that summer is coming to an end. A couple of month's back I turned off my dating profiles and vowed to get out more, meet people and have some fun.
Well, I have done just that. We went to an Indian pow wow, had some great seats at some great concerts, lusted over rodeo cowboys, danced our butts off, joined a social media club and much more... oh, and have made some awesome new friends along the way.
I have had to push my comfort zone levels a little. It's very easy for me to sit back and be a wallflower when I am in a group of new people. I had to make it a goal to introduce myself to at least one person where ever we go... I was good and sometimes met and talked to a few people!
I decided to put one dating profile back up. When I did, I may or may not have been slightly frustrated with a particular man friend at the time and when I rewrote the introduction paragraph it probably was a little on the Alanis Morrisette side of hating men.
I knew it was kinda bitchy, but I didn't care and left it.
It has been posted for a couple weeks now and I've had one (1) guy contact me. One.
Email subject: ? (That was it, just a question mark)
Email: Hay baby what U doin tonight?
First thing that popped into my head was: Not YOU!
Even though I didn't get asked out or have any dates over the summer, I will definitely be continuing into the fall with the plan to get out and keep having fun. I mean we have some serious fun coming up with Haunted Houses, Oktoberfest, and not to mention.... kick ass Hockey Games! But I figure, in the meantime, one little dating profile won't hurt either.
And yes... I did redo it so it's nicer. *Ü*
Monday, August 31, 2009
Saturday was my birthday! I have left behind the*thirty somethings* and moved on to the big 40. We had a big "boot scootin' woot woot" birthday party for me and went out for a night of country dancing. It was very nice to be surrounded by good friends that I love dearly.
The highlight of the night was my present from Hanks. He gave me an Inflatable Husband! Well you know that got opened right up.... Meet Inflatable Husband:
As you can see the Inflatable Husband is not very big. I guess he makes up for that with humor. But I must admit that I have thought about cutting him out of the box and going with the paper doll version... he's got it goin' on so much more than the inflatable version!
I don't know about you but I have always had *floats* on my list of husband criteria....
The Inflatable Husband comes with his own manual. I am single... they must have anticipated that I would need a manual. Although I was greatly disappointed to see it was all about how I can care for him. I think it's about time that I had someone to take care of me for a change.
He can be put away when I am tired of him, but as soon as I want something from him, he needs blown!! Now you tell me... is this *any* different than every other man?? How is this benefiting me??!? Sheesh... you can tell this Inflatable Husband wasn't made by a woman, that's for sure!
And like any man, there are warnings:
- Do not bring your inflatable into contact with sharp objects
- Do not bring your inflatable into contact with fire
- Do not bring your inflatable into contact with thermonuclear detonations
- Do not attempt to wash your inflatable with (or on) acid
- Do not attempt to use your inflatable as a murder weapon (unless you are very patient & your victim is immobile)
- This is not *that* type of inflatable and therefore coitus is not recommended ~ We should keep this one in mind with more real life men, so many of them aren't *that* type of inflatable either
- Do not bring your inflatable in contact with members of the psychiatric profession (especially if you've named him) ~ Meriam has already named him for me, I wonder if that counts - in case you were wondering she named him... husband!
I can already tell that we will have many events where Husband will be invited. Might even need to whore him out and share some of the inflatable love.
Monday, August 24, 2009
In our adventures of getting out and being social, Jacque got invited to a housewarming party for a new potential client. So she rounded up Deb and I to go with her.
Now let me set the stage for the fiasco....
We arrived at this new house on a dead end road in an area which is still being developed. We didn't see a lot of cars and we were hesitant to go. We had plans to catch a comedy show later in the evening and decided we'd go for a bit. What could it hurt, we had a reason to leave after a while anyway!
Walking up to the front door we decided that this was a perfect murder house. End of the street. Not a lot of houses. Not too populated. Pretty much a forest behind the house. Three single women going to a stranger's house and.... a sign on the door that says, "Walk in!" *Gulp* But fear not, we were brave!
In the murder house we met Hanks and a few others. They were really cool and fun guys. Soon after we needed to leave for our comedy show. They wanted us to come back since more people were still coming, we promised we would.
Upon returning someone pointed out that the light was on in my car. I ran out to turn it off and when I came back in I set my keys on a little end table at the top of the stairway. We spent the next few hours having fun dancing, playing pool and getting to know new people.
*Let the fiasco begin*
Around 2ish we go to leave and my keys aren't on the table. They were gone... not on the table, not under the table, not any where around the table. Gone!
A search of the entire house commenced. Everyone kept asking me if I was surrrre that is where I set them... like I was all too drunk or something to know where I set them down at. I 100% know that I had set them there. A couple people went out to my car to peer inside to see if I locked them in, some called the ones who had left to see if they had picked them up and... nothing.
Here is where it gets fun... all 3 of our purses were.... locked in the car! Both Deb's and Jacque's cell phones were....locked in the car! Both of their keys to their houses/cars were.... locked in the car! Did I have a spare key? No, of course not! What kind of fiasco adventure would this be if I had a spare??!?!
By now it's after 3 am and Hanks, being the super nice guy that he is (mind you, this is the first night we had ever met him), calls his car service to have them come and unlock my car. Well after a long wait on the phone with them, they can't find a locksmith that come to us at that hour of the night. *Great*
Deb was pretty sure that she remembered the code to her garage. We could get in through there, sleep at her house and she had a spare set of keys to her car for in the morning. A dozen tries later, we were in!
I think my favorite moment was when we woke up and Deb said, "Let's go to breakfast!"
I was like, "Um, yeah.. no money!" and she just spouted off, "I'll PAY!"
Ummm remember that ALL of our purses are ...locked in my car??
We were pretty hungry and had some time to kill. Hanks had a soccer game that morning then he was going to work with his service again to get someone out to unlock my car. We decided to head over to my brother's diner and make him buy 3 cute, adventurous, broke, purseless girls some breakfast!
*Let's skip the part where he makes fun of us for being grown women who had the keys to the car stolen and for having our lives (purses) locked in the car*
My brother enlisted the services of his friend Dell who is a locksmith. He came to talk to us and said he could get the car unlocked and make one of those fancy chipped keys but I need to hurry and decide because he only had a couple of hours to get it done. Oh yeah... it's a Saturday so he gets overtime! Total cost: $450! *My jaw may have hit the table*
We hadn't heard from Hanks and dummy me... he had my number but I didn't have his! Jacque had his number on her phone but it was... locked in the car! (See a reoccurring theme here?) I needed to make a decision. After letting me sweat for a minute, Dell said he'd do it for $200. Ok, SOLD.
As we were driving out to Hanks, he finally called! He was telling me that his service couldn't find anyone willing to come out on site so instead they wanted to tow my car to a dealership but couldn't guarantee it would be worked on that same day.
*Phone dies* [insert bad words here]
Once we got there we talked his service into paying Dell to do the work since WE found a locksmith to come out on site all by our own selves. It took a while but he was finally able to get in, make one of those fancy keys and let us be on our way.
A huge thanks to Hanks for being so kind, so helpful and so much fun!
And to whomever has my keys.... I want them BACK dammit!
To do list for the week: Make a SPARE set of keys and stash some cash somewhere for emergency breakfasts!
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
This is a dating adventure that happened to my good friend Debby. It is too priceless not to share!
We're going to call this guy Mister Ed. Partly because his name is Ed and partly because he should be crowned the horse's ass! On their first date, he was heading the the dog park and asked her along. After spending the afternoon together he wanted to keep spending time with her. She told him she was busy that night (she was going to the movies with me) but invited him along.
He really did seem like a *normal* guy, not her type, but normal just the same. Boy were we wrong! After a couple of more days he started telling her that she was the one he wanted to marry, that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her and all that. Do you all realize there are some needy, clingy, pathetic guys out there??? Now don't get me wrong. I am all about being pursued, romance, having a guy fall head over heels for me and all that. I also know that it's smart to get to know someone before deciding to get married, and that it takes a little longer than a few days to figure that out!
After a few more days of that Deb needed to go out of town on business. Mister Ed insisted on taking her to the airport. I know all the girls are thinking, "Ahhh how sweet."...but no. That night she starts getting texts from him about how sorry he is that he that he can't meet at the hotel later that night, that he was really looking forward to doing this and that *insert things here with your own dirty mind* and a few other texts that left her thinking *What the HELL*. They hadn't kissed, they hadn't talked about any of this AND don't forget... she was out of town.
She texted him to actually ask "What the HELL"... and he comes back with "Oh sorry, that was my dad, he's a player, and he was texting some chick he is messing around with, he forgot his phone so he was using mine."
Let's pause here and have everyone that believes that please stand up. Ok since no one stood up I'll continue.
This guy needs to grow a pair! You were busted, you screwed up and can't even own up to it. First of all, how many players know the phone number to some slut they want to meet at a hotel? Second of all, once the number was being typed into "his son's phone", wouldn't you notice that oh whoops the NAME to someone in HIS phone came up so I must have typed it wrong... you wouldn't keep sending more and more texts to the same wrong number. Anyway, I could go on and on about how lame his excuse was but we all know he's a lyin' piece of you-know-what!
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
I have single handedly discovered how a certain un-named eDating site is making millions of dollars. *This is where I run into the room in my real life super hero costume (- they have those ya know) and yell TADA*
Well ok, maybe it isn't rocket science or brain surgery, but how lame is this? First there is the outrageous prices to signup/renew...I only signed up cuz I found a deal of $40 for 3 months rather than the normal price of $100+ for 3 months. I recently turned off my subscription, so it won't auto renew, they have sent me twice as many matches in these last 2 weeks than they have the entire 3 months!
I think this is an evil plot so that people will reconcider and renew for that insane dollar amount because they will want time to communicate with these new and intriguing matches. But it won't work! I am not falling for it!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Wow the last month has been insane. I barely had time for myself and my family... there was no room for dating adventures. Things seem to be slowing down a little and I am ready for some fun. We have a new date adventure plan and it is off the internet and out in the real world. My BFF's and I have a new agenda to get out in the sunshine and enjoy some sporting events, concerts, and just find some fun about town.
So let's see what this will bring to the dating table!
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Since when did it become okay for guys to ask and expect certain things, especially without ever meeting them? Why is it ok to be texting a guy for the first time and have him ask, "Do you like sex"? I mean who doesn't, but I don't know you, and why is that our conversation topic?
Why do guys expect things from me when he's a STRANGER?
Let's get this straight.. I am not going to send you a picture of me in my panties (or less) and I'm not dumb ...I know that's what you mean when you ask me to send you a "body shot" pic! NEXT!
Just because we're emailing kinda late at night (because I am still up working on the computer) and you want me to call you, this doesn't mean I want phone sex... I know what you're meaning when you say, "what are you doing right now" or "so where are you" or "what do you like to talk about at this hour". I called you to TALK and to get to know you... apparently you want something different. NEXT!
And back to the one that wanted to know if I like sex.... you saw me in the store, we smiled at each other and then exchanged numbers.... where in that did I "look naughty"? Are you kidding me?? I am pretty sure I don't go around looking naughty at 5 p.m. on a Saturday at the GAS STATION. NEXT!!
Why has texting, instant messaging, and internet dating stooped to the level of these PERVS? What happened to meeting, dating, treating each other with respect, getting to know someone, building up a chemistry between you and anticipating that first kiss? What gives these guys the audacity to assume that they deserve that type of intimacy from me especially without ever meeting me? Why would they have any respect for me after that? Why should I have any respect for them for assuming women should be treated that way? Oh yeah, I DON'T!!
Sunday, April 26, 2009
That brings us to date guy#2 in this part of the adventure. Thinking I had learned my lesson, when I started communicating with this guy I asked 2 things.... are you married and do you have a felony? Look at me being all responsible! His answers came back as: been separated for 1 1/2 years but that he's been dating and no, of course he doesn't have a felony. Ok cool... I'm a little hesitant with the separated part but it wouldn't hurt to meet him and see how he is in person.
Through texting I asked why he hasn't gone for the divorce yet. He said it was complicated and better explained over the phone. *insert phone number exchange here* Wanna know what makes it complicated? Of course you do... they still live together! Together = separated... anyone else confused besides me?? Isn't this glorified cheating? Oh wait, it gets better! He keeps talking and says, "remember how you asked if I had a felony?" Yes I remember *duh* it's on the top of my screening questions! Oh, he would never do anything to have a felony... he just has a Class B Misdemeanor for hitting his wife during a fight and got charged with domestic violence!
I know... it's hard to comprehend how I was able to resist this guy!
This is kinda 2 date guys rolled into one story. I guess it would be safe to say that unless otherwise said, I am meeting all these guys off of online dating sites.
Date guy #1 - Friday night we start talking. By Saturday afternoon he had asked if I was busy that night and perhaps wanted to grab a bite to eat. Ok so it was Saturday afternoon and I had no plans for the night... pathetic me - don't hate! So I agreed. A while later I am in the car and he calls me. He says there are 2 things you need to know about me before we meet. *gulp* Ok. First he says he smokes. My response was then you need to quit! Second he says... I've been to prison! *ack* For what? Apparently possession and intent to sell will get you 4 years! How much do you have to have in your possession to get 4 years?? Holy COW! Thank goodness he got another call right then and his daughter was stranded... he couldn't find anyone to pick her up so he had to cancel!
I was out already so I headed over to my bff's house so we could get a good laugh out of that one!
NOTE TO SELF: add "do you have a felony" to the screening questions before meeting someone!
So I met Money Guy from an online dating site recently. He had been divorced for 9 years already and was still battling out the custody issues in court. Everytime we talked, every subject ended back up to his messy dramas over the kids. WOW ...enough already! On top of that all his stories were laced with mentions about how much it cost to remodel the home he had to give up, how much it cost for when the lawyer had to do this or had to do that, how he traded in his sports car every couple of years (is a Mazda 3 a sports car?? It's not what comes to my mind when I hear sports car), it just was annoying. So I started to think this guy must have a lot of money (not that I am materialistic, I just wondered if I was picking up the underlying messages).
So eventually we meet for dinner. Again the entire evening was about his divorce and how much he spent for things. During the conversation he also revealed a new subject and that was that he had been hurt on the job. When he didn't feel they had compensated him well enough for his injuries, he sued for workers comp. He hadn't worked in over a year and had just been living off the settlement. It was continually apparent how he would throw his lawyer into any situation when he could, and dropped hints about how much it cost every step of the way. My favorite moment was when he was bragging about how much he had been making. He said he had started with them some 20 + years and started out making $9 or $10. By the time he had quit he was "making more money than he will probably ever make again"! He was making $25 an hour!! I was expecting him to say something like $150 grand a year or so! I just sat back, chuckled to myself and thought, "Dude, I am making at least that! I am so not impressed!"
What a *LOSER*! I don't need his court drama, don't need someone who is going to have a lawyer in his pocket for any little thing and I certainly am not impressed by his finanical bragging!
Welcome to the Adventures of Date Girl! Date Girl... that's ME! *grin* I am a single mom, a career girl, a mom to 3 teenagers and trying to find Mister Right in the adventures of dating.
The adventures of dating, just as Forrest would say, are like a box of chocolates...you never know what you're going to get. I don't know about you but when I eat a box of chocolates there are only a few of them that I really like. The truffles, the caramels and the cherry chocolates are good enough for me. I can do without the coconut, the ones with the nuts, that orange gel filling and the other yucky flavors. So if you give me a box you can count on that most of them will have a little nibble taken out of them and thrown back in (the nibble was probably spit out into the trash). I compare this to dating because so many dates end up as the yucky flavors and thrown back. I am still trying to find my caramel chocolate! Many of the dates think they are good enough but they just don't realize they are the chocolates with the nuts (and sometimes they are seriously nutty!)
So stay tuned for the adventures of dating.... because you just can't make this stuff up!