Monday, August 31, 2009

The Inflatable Husband

Saturday was my birthday! I have left behind the*thirty somethings* and moved on to the big 40. We had a big "boot scootin' woot woot" birthday party for me and went out for a night of country dancing. It was very nice to be surrounded by good friends that I love dearly.

The highlight of the night was my present from Hanks. He gave me an Inflatable Husband! Well you know that got opened right up.... Meet Inflatable Husband:

As you can see the Inflatable Husband is not very big. I guess he makes up for that with humor. But I must admit that I have thought about cutting him out of the box and going with the paper doll version... he's got it goin' on so much more than the inflatable version!

I don't know about you but I have always had *floats* on my list of husband criteria....

The Inflatable Husband comes with his own manual. I am single... they must have anticipated that I would need a manual. Although I was greatly disappointed to see it was all about how I can care for him. I think it's about time that I had someone to take care of me for a change.

He can be put away when I am tired of him, but as soon as I want something from him, he needs blown!! Now you tell me... is this *any* different than every other man?? How is this benefiting me??!? Sheesh... you can tell this Inflatable Husband wasn't made by a woman, that's for sure!

And like any man, there are warnings:
  • Do not bring your inflatable into contact with sharp objects
  • Do not bring your inflatable into contact with fire
  • Do not bring your inflatable into contact with thermonuclear detonations
  • Do not attempt to wash your inflatable with (or on) acid
  • Do not attempt to use your inflatable as a murder weapon (unless you are very patient & your victim is immobile)
  • This is not *that* type of inflatable and therefore coitus is not recommended ~ We should keep this one in mind with more real life men, so many of them aren't *that* type of inflatable either
  • Do not bring your inflatable in contact with members of the psychiatric profession (especially if you've named him) ~ Meriam has already named him for me, I wonder if that counts - in case you were wondering she named him... husband!
I can already tell that we will have many events where Husband will be invited. Might even need to whore him out and share some of the inflatable love.

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