This one is for Deb! Good ol' Mister Ed!

This is a dating adventure that happened to my good friend Debby. It is too priceless not to share!

We're going to call this guy Mister Ed. Partly because his name is Ed and partly because he should be crowned the horse's ass! On their first date, he was heading the the dog park and asked her along. After spending the afternoon together he wanted to keep spending time with her. She told him she was busy that night (she was going to the movies with me) but invited him along.

He really did seem like a *normal* guy, not her type, but normal just the same. Boy were we wrong! After a couple of more days he started telling her that she was the one he wanted to marry, that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her and all that. Do you all realize there are some needy, clingy, pathetic guys out there??? Now don't get me wrong. I am all about being pursued, romance, having a guy fall head over heels for me and all that. I also know that it's smart to get to know someone before deciding to get married, and that it takes a little longer than a few days to figure that out!

After a few more days of that Deb needed to go out of town on business. Mister Ed insisted on taking her to the airport. I know all the girls are thinking, "Ahhh how sweet."...but no. That night she starts getting texts from him about how sorry he is that he that he can't meet at the hotel later that night, that he was really looking forward to doing this and that *insert things here with your own dirty mind* and a few other texts that left her thinking *What the HELL*. They hadn't kissed, they hadn't talked about any of this AND don't forget... she was out of town.

She texted him to actually ask "What the HELL"... and he comes back with "Oh sorry, that was my dad, he's a player, and he was texting some chick he is messing around with, he forgot his phone so he was using mine."

Let's pause here and have everyone that believes that please stand up. Ok since no one stood up I'll continue.

This guy needs to grow a pair! You were busted, you screwed up and can't even own up to it. First of all, how many players know the phone number to some slut they want to meet at a hotel? Second of all, once the number was being typed into "his son's phone", wouldn't you notice that oh whoops the NAME to someone in HIS phone came up so I must have typed it wrong... you wouldn't keep sending more and more texts to the same wrong number. Anyway, I could go on and on about how lame his excuse was but we all know he's a lyin' piece of you-know-what!

NEXT!!!

The Pervs....

Since when did it become okay for guys to ask and expect certain things, especially without ever meeting them? Why is it ok to be texting a guy for the first time and have him ask, "Do you like sex"? I mean who doesn't, but I don't know you, and why is that our conversation topic?

Why do guys expect things from me when he's a STRANGER?

Let's get this straight.. I am not going to send you a picture of me in my panties (or less) and I'm not dumb ...I know that's what you mean when you ask me to send you a "body shot" pic! NEXT!

Just because we're emailing kinda late at night (because I am still up working on the computer) and you want me to call you, this doesn't mean I want phone sex... I know what you're meaning when you say, "what are you doing right now" or "so where are you" or "what do you like to talk about at this hour". I called you to TALK and to get to know you... apparently you want something different. NEXT!

And back to the one that wanted to know if I like sex.... you saw me in the store, we smiled at each other and then exchanged numbers.... where in that did I "look naughty"? Are you kidding me?? I am pretty sure I don't go around looking naughty at 5 p.m. on a Saturday at the GAS STATION. NEXT!!

Why has texting, instant messaging, and internet dating stooped to the level of these PERVS? What happened to meeting, dating, treating each other with respect, getting to know someone, building up a chemistry between you and anticipating that first kiss? What gives these guys the audacity to assume that they deserve that type of intimacy from me especially without ever meeting me? Why would they have any respect for me after that? Why should I have any respect for them for assuming women should be treated that way? Oh yeah, I DON'T!!